Mister, would you please help my pony? (linkkk) wrote in anti_batman,
Mister, would you please help my pony?
linkkk
anti_batman

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but at the same time...

i was once perhaps the closest physical manifestation of this comm. than anyone here at a time actually




the belt buckle i made for halloween 2004














but alas, the power and timelessness of Batman, his legacy, his skills, his conceptualizations, his symbolism, his iconography, his complexity, his darkness, his embodiment of justice served in the vigilante way, his ability to perhaps defeat any opponent given the proper amount of preparation time and resources, will always prevail



just look at the criteria behind this community, it is so flawed, lacking any legitimacy let alone a convincing argument as to why Batman sucks

- he has no super powers
- he is a dude in a bat suit... if i wore a bear suite and said "Hey, i'm bear man!" i'd be locked away for a long time...
- he bosses around an old man for a slave
- he always passes up the hot chicks that want him...
- his biggest enemies are a clown, a fat penguin, a girl who claims to be a cat, and a guy who tells riddles...
- has a gay fluff boy for a side kick


"- he has no super powers"
Batman has willpower, and his intelligence, physical prowess, and resourcefullness in many cases outweigh the abilities/powers/skills of many other heroes in the DC universe in terms of potential and capability

"- he is a dude in a bat suit... if i wore a bear suite and said "Hey, i'm bear man!" i'd be locked away for a long time..."
you'd be locked away for a very logn time b/c you have no skillz and you'd get pwned. batman doesn't get pwned, he has stealth, he is ninja-trained. he snuck into the Pentagon, and not even Martian Manhuner noticed him until Batman made his presence to him known, and Martian Manhunter was all "Batman!? but...the pentagon, how did you, how did you get in here?" to which Batman answered, "just another building. a few more locks, a few more guards." BOOM can't be PWNED, not even by the US government. when America went fascist in the future with Lex Luthor as president, Batman started an army of vigilante anarchists to overthrow them with his bat skillz and strategy.

"- he bosses around an old man for a slave"
Alfred is a father figure to Bruce Wayne, Alfred has been serving the Wayne family for much of his life, and is perhaps Wayne's only semblance of family left in his life.

"- he always passes up the hot chicks that want him..."
he fooled around with Catwoman a bit, but ultimately let that one go. i bet Bruce Wayne still gets laid whenver he wants tho, he's got hot bitches hangin off his arms all the time. he's bruce wayne, gotham city's most prestigous bachelor. besides, his life is devoted to fighting crime, not baggin bitches.

"- his biggest enemies are a clown, a fat penguin, a girl who claims to be a cat, and a guy who tells riddles..."
those are just his trademark enemies, Batman has faced and defeated so many more beings capable of vast amounts of destruction and evil. Batman had the balls to slap Darkseid around on his OWN planet Apokalypse, knowing that there would be no way he coudl best Darkseid in a hand to hand fight, and that punchign him would only aggravate him. the Joker is also one of the smartest criminal thinkers in teh DC universe, it took the entire JLA put together to thwart one of his plans once. the Joker is not to be underestimated, he is completely unpredictable, he embodies the pure essence of chaos in the world of comics. the dynamic of hero vs villain between Batman and the Joker is the most complex protaganist/antagonist relationsihp in comics, let alone literature. if u want me to elaborate i've written an essay on the topic.

"- has a gay fluff boy for a side kick<"
he took Robin under his training because Robin's parents were murdered, and he saw something of himself in the young Dick Grayson, and reliving the trauma he so often experiences of losing his parents, was noble enough to become a father figure to this child and train him in the ways of justice and ultimate selflessness in the face of human endangerment.



y'all might as well delete this comm., Batman will never die, Batman will never be defeated, Batman can beat anybody. he is the greatest detective in teh world, the darkest knight, "only the most dangerous man on the planet" according to Superman, the most efficient thinker in the realm of Superheroes, the greatest comic book character ever created, the inspiration behind all my hopes and dreams, Batman.

i am 22 years old, i've loved Batman since i was a child, i've seen and experienced a lot of things in this life, and nothing has filled me wiht more wonder, excitement, passion, ambition, inspiration, ideology, morale, hope, than that which is the Batman.


one day, you will all wake up and realize just how wasted your lives have been hating Batman, and i will be standing over you ejaculating into your face with a batman t-shirt on.

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